Keep your germs away from me!

The beginning of this post will be interrupted by me having to run to the bathroom...

Ok, back.

So yesterday was the first day of all my new medication. I feel better today...less bloated. But i'm terrified of getting sick!!

I don't know about you guys, but whenever i get a new med, i look it up online. read about it, see the side effects. I like to be educated. So when the first line about Imuran tells you transplant patients take it, it's a little scary. And i know it affects my immune system, but i'm scared of getting sick. It has been years even since ive had a cold, years!!! I'm washing my hands every chance i get.

But i know i need to, because i'm tired of feeling like the left side of my colon has tiny little forks poking me. Like it feels at the moment. Ok delicious taco soup recipe!

http://paleotable.com/2013/10/paleo-taco-soup/

Delicous!!! So so good. I cooked it in the crockpot for 8 hours. Crockpot is my best friend..i don't have to do much and i have food ready when i come home from work!! Ok, time to get back to eating so i can gain a few pounds! Happy Halloween!! Which i don't celebrate anyway..oh well!

Time for a medication change!!

There's a time that comes in the life of everyone who had an IBD..where you need new drugs. You don't want it, you fight it, but you know it's inevitable.

My time has come. My doctor says i'm becoming "steroid dependent." In other words, i need them. My body doesn't want to stay in remission without it. So i get two new drugs, Imuran and Lialda. and I get to continue Uceris for a bit. Ive never taken a immunosurpressant before. It scares the crap out of me. Well hopefully it will keep me from crapping...my doctor said we have to "Hit it hard" and then go down. Whatever you say, doc.

I just want to eat my chicken curry in peace!! And maybe a few other things. Even when I'm completely in remission, i'm still going to eat clean. It makes me feel amazing. But every once in awhile i want that crap food. I mean it's the holidays people!! Fudge!! Or maybe i an start running again...

I got to ten miles, and in the middle of a flare up and destroyed knees, I had to stop. I felt like a failure, but it was also a relief...

Maybe gain some weight? I'm down to 110. Yuck. Don't pull that whole "i wish i needed to gain weight.."crap on me. Skinny doesn't look good either. Shut your face.

Oh and i also have a weird itchy rash on my face and lips. it looks lovely. I just realized I'm going to be taking an immunosurpressant during flu season. "face palm"

So much for me never being sick. I haven't been sick in years...

Get away from me sicko!

Ranch and Feta Please!!

Who wants to be normal, for just a day?? Eat waffles and hash browns for breakfast. Get a PSL. Hit the mall for some shopping. Get a salad covered in feta and ranch for lunch. Eat a huge steak and mashed potatoes for dinner. Dang, i'd be fat. But it would be delicious!

I know some of you out there can feel me...just the thought of ranch is making my intestines churn.

Lifting is my therapy. I can take it all out at the gym.  Cardio, blech. I'm not trying to lose weight. I need to gain weight if anything. Last time i had a major flare up i lost 14 pounds. I can't do that again. Id be under 100. So packing it on i go..but healthy way. I love gaining weight in muscles. What is the one thing you can do, or place you can go, to let go of and forget your problems, even if only for a minute?

Glad i made that doctors appt I'm not feeling so hot.You know, like i have to go to the bathrooom now or else? That's kind of happening. What is he going to do now? I don't want steroids!! Or biologics. Why does my body hate me?? UGH!! Sorry, pity party. It happens sometimes.

Til then, i'll just pet my pretty boy.

Oh, and GO SEAHAWKS!! All the way baby. Reppin my sweatshirt today :)

Eating clean..want to know where to start?

Eating clean is awesome. Its not easy, it takes some getting used to, but after you "detox" it's not so bad.

First step, detoxing from the sugar!! The hardest part, for me anyway.  Start with condiments. Almost all condiments have sugar. BBQ, ketchup, salad dressing. Cut it all out. Start making your own! There are plenty of good recipes for BBQ sauce and salad dressing online.

Next, nothing processed!! Nothing with preservatives.

Olive oil and coconut oil are your best friends. I use coconut oil in cooking, as butter, in recipes.

Meats: beef, chicken, turkey, tuna, salmon

Veggies: all!

Fruits: I limit my fruit intake. Too much sugar and fiber means gas...and bloating..

Dairy: I don't digest cow milk products well. So I do goat. Goat milk, cheese, yogurt.  Goat yogurt is my favorite thing in the world. With a little honey and some flax seed...mmmm

This is just the beginning! There are so may recipes you can make with just this. Found some for taco chili, turkey and sweet potato chili, mango salsa salmon..and desserts! For example, I just made pumpkin muffins! Coconut flour, pure maple syrup..yum!

Home is good for your health

Tennessee is beautiful! But you know what's even more beautiful?

Sleeping in your own bed. Using your own shower. Pooping in your own toilet. Ah, freedom.

Vacation is lovely. But coming home makes it that much better.  Eating all your food, the stuff you know won't kill you. I've had enough salads to last me for weeks. I did a lot of thinking though.  About the future, and about my health. Moving on..making room for new memories.

Do you think about the future, health wise? Where will you be ten years from now? Will i still have my colon? Will i still have my rectum? Will I be scary skinny from being sick, or will I be healthy, eating foods i hadn't been able to before. Will i have kids? How will that affect me, being pregnant? So many unsure things. All i know, is that i need to be as healthy and active as i can now, so i can be around ten years from now.

What can you do today to make yourself better in ten years?

Watching Parenthood,  Drew just got friend zoned :)

Can't we just get away...

EATING CLEAN WHILE VACATIONING IS HARD...AM I RIGHT??

Thought i would make that blood red. Seemed symbolic.

Called the doctor on my way to Tennessee, he wants to see me again "sigh." But i don't want it to get worse so that's what I am going to do. My joints have been aching so i know something's not right!

Drove up to Tennessee today to stay in a cabin for a few days, it's so beautiful here. i just wanted to ignore the needles digging into my side and gaze at the beauty of the turning leaves. Had an amazing dinner at a local restaurant..salmon, sweet potatoes, and salad!! Skipped the cooked-from-a-box rice..and ready to enjoy my peppermint chocolate tea by The Republic of Tea!

This is going to be short..because sitting here in this hard wooden chair while my butt is throbbing is not comfortable. Maybe i'll go enjoy the hot tub...on the deck :) While the temperatures plunge..mm vacation.

Have a good night.

Less than awesome Crohn's day...

Today is just one of those days...

You think you're doing everything right. Sometimes it doesn't matter what you want. Colon will be angry anyway.

For the record, i eat clean 99% of the time.  Nothing processed. No sugar, no gluten, and i only consume goat dairy products. I eat tons of veggies and stick with minimal fruits. I still can't seem to go more than a couple months at a time without having issues.  Any doctor will tell you that a diet doesn't matter.. BSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS. For me it is EVERYTHING. What i eat directly affects how i feel. 

I know people with Crohn's have issues in different places. Mine is mainly my rectum.  TIME TO GET GROSS!! 

Bleeding..throbbing..just uncomfortable in general.  I used to have it in my terminal illeum.  But, as you know, it skips around. Now i have crohn's colitis. I'm not sure which was worse...my first couple years after getting diagnosed i had typical symptoms while having a flare up...diarrhea, fever, joint pain, weight loss. Now my symptoms have changed...still joint pain, but now i get bleeding and throbbing on my left side. But at least i'm not shooting liquid from places it doesn't belong..just blood. No biggie. 

My question is always when i should call the doctor. I take 4000 mg of pentasa a day, and a 1000 mg suppository at night, and it helps 75 percent of the time. I have uceris i take from time to time, but not unless instructed. I keep hoping it will go away on it's own, that i wont' have to get on more medication. But how long should one wait?? I always wait too long...things always come up. I'm going out of town tomorrow. too late to call now. I can call when i get back, but it will be the weekend. and then work starts next week.

Why do we always wait until it's too late. Why do we always want to do things on our own? Because we want to be normal? To not have to depend on someone else to feel well? I'm tired of taking drugs. I'm tired of my body attacking itself. But i'm also tired of feeling like crap. Can't win.  Still gotta keep my head up

Meeting new people..and being the weird one.

There's going to come a time..when you're going to have to make friends. Well, you'll want to. In my case, i move frequently because of the military. I've moved 3 times since 2010 because of that very reason. Staying home is very lonely..especially during deployments. You have to make new friends! and what comes up when you make friends..well food. What you do and don't eat. It's going to come up whether you like it or not. I find it easier to just get it out in the open.

New Person: "You're drinking tea? Oh man, i just love coffee so much."

Me: "oh, so do I. I just don't drink it."

New person: "what? I even imagine. Why not?"

Me: "My body hates it."

Translation...Diarrhea. In fact, i just had my first full caffeine coffee two days ago. I hadn't had one in over three months. Whole foods...organic coffee with coconut milk and sweetened with honey. And three hours later...diarrhea. Running to the bathroom. Um, no thanks.

It's easier to get this out in the open from the beginning. Not in a, "hi! my name is Desiree, and i poop a lot" kind of way.  But when you first hang out with someone, it's easiest to ask , let's meet for lunch? Or coffee? No serious commitment, just getting to know someone. Then it will come up, as to why you don't have salad dressing, or why we can't get a slice of pizza. Avoid people thinking you are anorexic. If they ask, just put it out there. Just say you have a lot of things your body doesn't digest well. Or doesn't like. and then the time will come, when you feel comfortable enough with new person..to discuss...

You know it's true. I can talk to my closest friends about anything. In fact, I met an amazing new friend  a few weeks ago. Within two days, we were taking about poop. About desperately trying to find a bathroom. About watering eyes when you think you're going to crap yourself. From that moment on, i knew...we were soul mates.

Everyone poops. But dang, only some of us can hold it. And you better believe..shopping makes me have to poop. Warm beverages..like the ones you get before you go shopping. Waking up. Sitting. eating.  If you ask me at any given time, i probably could crap on command.  Urine sample at the doctor? Please. Ask me for a stool sample. Anyone every had to give one of those?? Pooping on saran wrap and scrapping it off with a tiny spoon...

OK too much, sorry.  Well happy Sunday all. Make new friends! The good ones with understand.

Happy Pooping!!

This Crohn's girl..from the beginning

Let's dig in!

My name is Desiree. I"m 26 years old, and currently live in South Carolina. I"m originally from Washington state, and moved to SC from California last year. My husband is a Marine. We have a dog named Peter....you'll see pictures of him. I love him, he's my baby. And no, i don't plan on having children anytime soon.

Oh, and I have Crohn's disease.

I've thought about starting a blog for awhile. To see changes in my disease process. To let other people know that they're not suffering alone. To get it all out there! Hey, if I'm going to suffer from this for the rest of my life, why not make it comical? Let's do this together.

In 2009, while working as an x-ray tech in Idaho, i was diagnosed with Crohn's. I knew something was wrong, there had been for awhile. The doctor told me before my colonoscopy that he knew what was wrong. And hey, I knew about it. I'm in the medical field. We see it. but having it written down on PAPER, be in your medical records. Knowing for the rest of your life that you have a disease, that affects your every day well being is different. I cried when he gave me my diagnoses. I knew and it still didn't matter, it had become official.

My disease's name is Jerry.

My husband picked a name for it while we were dating. He thought Jerry sounded like the name of an asshole. So it stuck. "Jerry is bugging me today," "i can't eat that, it will make Jerry angry." Sounds better than calling it was it really is. My body hating me. Rejecting foods i love. Making me change my diet. Not allowing me foods that normal Americans eat. Jerry deserves his asshole name. I just want a freaking pizza dipped in ranch with doritos.  Is that too much to ask?

I take medication. I poop, all the time. I have gas every day. I bleed, from places that i shouldn't. I cry, it hurts. I have flares. I have few normal days. I feel sorry for myself. But i also know that i could be so much worse. I could be on more meds. I could be in the hospital.  I could have an ostomy. But i don't. And changing my diet and every day lifestyle is one of the ways i'm hoping it doesn't come to that.

The point of all of this, is to let people know they aren't alone. I have no friends that have my disease.  They don't get it. I don't skip the ice cream and chicken alfredo because i want to, i do it because I HAVE TO. If I was dying tomorrow..i'd eat....

We'll get to that later.

My name is Desiree, and I have Crohn's disease.

Warning! Uncensored info to come!

Let me start by giving you a warning. Before I even tell you about myself.

This is going to get GRAPHIC. Not in a funny way. Well ok, sometimes funny, because what else are you going to do? But in a gross, real life, true telling kind of way. I'm not going to do this unless it is all out there, unedited, because i know there are others out there like me. Wondering if what is going on in their bodies is normal.

We're going to talk about poop. And gas. And blood. And sex. Then poop some more, because hey, that's what a person with Crohn's does. A lot.

So this is your warning. If you can't handle the truth, I'm giving you the chance to bail now!! No? ok, then i think you will very much enjoy. Oh, and also, I'm not perfect with spelling, or typing. I make a lot of mistakes. Deal with it.