Deck the halls with...toilets!

It's almost Christmas!

It is also my half birthday..but who's counting..

I'm writing this on the small chance that someone might respond.  I'm about to start taking Humira (if my insurance ever approves it) and I'm a little excited. It has been a long road, the whole past year has been up and down. I'm just ready for it to be over. Done with trying whatever medications that are "safer" and just ready to kick it in the ass.  

Weird how things change though, like your body knows and want to throw you for a loop.

My ulcers were back a couple weeks ago. Not that they ever really left, but I wasn't having as much bleeding. Then the pain came, the sharp pain that i dread so much, and they were back. A week later i went to the doctor and he said the Imuran wasn't working, and that Humira was my next step. I may have teared up a little, sad that nothing was working. But as i sit here with my gut rumbling, reminding me of my transgressions, i am ready. Ready do be normal. Ready to shoot myself up every two weeks to be able to poop like a normal human. I have been eating some naughty things the last week, and i'm paying for it. Not nearly as bad as the normal american diet, but just a little sugar. Some milk in the form of chocolate and cheese. Oh baby am i feeling the consequences. 

I got an email yesterday from my insurance saying they "couldn't fill" my prescription. I know, I know it's expensive. I will gladly pay a copay. Can that please be an option? We won't fill it, but for $100 a month you can have it! Ok! i'll run down there right now. I'm tired of being skinny. Losing my curves. Not having energy, losing interest in former loved activities. I hate not being myself.

This isn't meant to be a pity party. It's meant for me to vent and share my issues. In hopes that i can get it out to people who understand. Do any of you out there take Humira? Negative/Positive experiences? What words of wisdom can you give me? I have so much to look forward to this coming year, and i want to be able to experience it to the fullest. Happy Holidays everyone!